See You on the Other Side

Wake up after 2 hours of sleep because you had to stay up until 5 packing as a result of failing to finish packing before going out last night. Angry with self for not getting prepared earlier. Swear silently at self, and promise never to do that again.

Rush to car. Drive to airport, because mother insists you must be there 3 hours early. Realize your flight leaves an hour earlier than you thought. Good thing you got there 3 hours early.

Join line to check in. Rerouted to another desk on the other side of terminal for check-in. Approach available clerk. Told by clerk this is the first class line. Explain you were instructed to come here. Clerk gives you a disbelieving look, but agrees to check you in anyways. Clerk asks where you are going. Reply, "Hong Kong." Clerk prints baggage tag, says, "you know your bag is going to Bangkok, right?" while giving you a look like you are the dumbest person in all of Pearson. Sheepishly explain you are not sending your bag to Bangkok by itself, that you are going to Bangkok too, but are transferring in Hong Kong. Clerk has had enough of you and your early morning foolishness. Clerk sends you on your way.

Pick security line where they are training new employees. Realize this only once you reach that point where you think there's no point in switching lines now. Stand in line for 5 more minutes. Stand in line for 10 more minutes. Stand in line for 20 more minutes. Finally your turn. Pass through metal detector. See security official approaching. "Hello sir, I'm going to be doing a physical pat-down on you. Come over here please." Endure most lengthy pat-down in human history. Guy looks like he's new. Of course he is. Guy makes awkward conversation asking you where you are going and seeming interested, like he didn't just pat you down.

Collect personal effects from x-ray machine. Find gate. Still 40 minutes until boarding. Remind self to tell mom this story. Promise to never show up to the airport 3 hours early. Enjoy breakfast at Tim Horton's. Enjoy an episode of House. Use washroom. Board plane.

Find out you are sitting beside a woman who speaks no english. Try to indicate that you have the window seat, so could she please let you in. No success. Lady's son shows up, explains situation to her. Revelation. Smiles. Laughter. What you assume are apologies. Obtain seat.

Roll safety video. Realize most of your flight will be over water. Wonder exactly how long they think you will last floating around the Pacific Ocean with nothing but that inflatable vest. Captain says you will be flying over Russia. Remember Korean plane shot down over Russia because of deviation from route. Pray for no deviation from route.

Taxi to runway. Maximum power to main engines.

So long Canada.